oddity

you know with this internet thing and the openness of blogging – whatever it may truly mean beneath the words and possible pretenses – reading the blog of someone whom you know, who you may not necessarily keep in touch with on a regular basis (truly my greatest vice) – its like stalking them. even if you do it in a sporadic fashion, even if you don’t even do it more than twice a year, it still feels like that.

then it gets even worse. you wonder why your life is nothing like theirs at all. and you wish, you wish so feverently, that it wasn’t so.

i’m myopic so this is nothing new really; so whenever i am tired, or very stressed, i see double of everything. its like a lens out of focus or too long of a focal length to keep things in sharp view. its abit distressing when you think, oh fatigue you got me good this time, then 20 hours of sleep later your vision is still in that state

i have this philosophy towards technology – i laugh at the people who buy their expensive electronics and then “skin” them in transparent plastic and stickers. i think its a futile attempt at extending their shelf lives. as if this temporal temprement of today’s life allows such cherishing. there is greater virtue in breaking things than keeping them whole. broken ipod? new ipod touch! broken laptop? new laptop! so i don’t keep my electronics in their perfect unboxed state. i turn them tarnished inside out, i let it live out is life in full glory outside the bubble of a plastic womb, i leave them the chance to be broken.

lately my health has really suffered; i mean as a child i rarely fell ill. twice a year, mostly a well-enjoyed serious flu (because illness is just another substitue for “school holiday”), and then i am fine. now i fall ill all the time. i’ve vomitted twice in the past 2 weeks, i wake up with stuffy ears and nose, my legs cramp and my arms are sore from just one freaking jogging session…

i think, probably, my philosophy towards technology is a manifestation of my subconciousness. we all break. i have taken advantage of my body’s healing powers in excess, and now in its aged state — i am a 23-4 year old with a 50 year old’s body — i’m almost ready for a new cycle.

just overclock me and let it be done already!



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