More whining

This post is likely to be full of typos considering that I am writting this from my ipod. I wanted tfo blog but I wanted to lay down since it’s already pretty late here but whatever.

So it’s been about 10 days since I started work and I estimate I’ve spent about 60 hours a week at work. I get no OT, I’m still on probation, I’m working on other people’s portfolios and yeah I pretty much hate my job.

Now I have to work on Sundays too.

Basically i hate my life.I think the reason why I resent all these tradeoffs so much is because I did not want the job in the first place; the sincere truth about working there is, I fantasizes a good time to escape the question of “what do you want to when you graduate?” and seeing as I had no wellrespected ideas on that, I went with a fantasy scenario that I somehow haphazzardly (is that a real word?) fell into. This is typically described as a dream come true, no?

But for me it’s been nothing but uneasiness, disgruntleness and grumbling. Yesterday I was designing something from home and I got so hooked that I kept on going way past my bedtime. I knew I was going to be groggy and tired but I didn’t mind or care. I was just so damn happy to be dong what I love

I tried to take the advice of the wise and of those before me. But this is just one of those situations where I am so thoroughly unhappy at the core of me that I blame myself for not heeding my heart’s calling and just worked in a media agency. I keep taking my love for design for granted, secondguessing it’s value at every turn. But design is a life skill. It’s analytical and demanding as it is constantly evolving; it requires commitment and it’s a discipline that is so fundamentally instinctive that it’s definition can never be compartmentalized enough to present in general terms. It’s subtle it’s specifc and it’s so deliberate. But it’s emotional and wellprincipled, classic and modern, all this control that’s toted by the threads of creativity you must have to survive in this industry

And when I think design I FEEL passion, like I haven’t felt for anything else. Marketting seems so one-dimensional in comparison. Like the end goal is s fundamentaly tied to sales that there is little integrity or sincerity underlying the process. It’s almost like an empty shell that is entirely self serving by nature. I really hate it.

What’s worst is I ark with people who act like designers but have no skills to create and so they delegate the work to angency or someone who will just do as they say. They want their creatives done the way they want it, fuck whatever design rationale that may lie behind it. If it’s not done their way, it’s not done right. So why hire designers if they like to play designer so much? Oh wait…cos they are too stupid to learn the know-how to do the work. And even if they did try, their sense of asthetics will just result in generic work that has no value.

They wouldn’t k ow what to do Unless it was written all in black and white for them.

I hate this job……….

one response to More whining

  1. I Make Thousands of Dollars a Month Posting Links on Google from Home Says:
    June 13th, 2009 at 4:26 am

    Hey, great post, really well written. You should blog more about this.

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