21
June
(2009)



sandy good times woo

soooo hotttttt

didn’t bring the big gun out today so i have crappy photos again,… i was scared it was going to get stolen

i’m abit stuck between writing about what happened and just being philosophical in general; i wrote like 5 paragraphs about the beach party then i realized it was not even remotely interesting for anyone other than me to read so i deleted it all

so, life lessons:

1. i suck at doing simple things, i get nervous and scared and freak out even when i am a perfectly intelligent girl

2. how often have you looked at someone who is fucking up and wondered how it was possible to screw up something as mind-numbingly simple as “THAT”? yeah. i was that dude who was always wondering how people fuck up simple shit like making links on a webpage, and today i had to be in the shoes of people who i always criticize and i found myself failing, as they had. interesting, no?

3. i used to think that singapore is a city full of colorless personalities. people who are such shells that you just can’t see any depth in their person. but today i met alot of people who were very different. there was this paranoid dude who was skulking around for freebies, some androgynous girls/boys who were being absolutely cool with their behavior, people sitting around and just having a ball doing nothing but laugh and play with a beach ball, drag queens who have no shame in their flamboyance and were just so totally chill that i wanted to facebook them on the spot (but of course i didn’t…)… and then there were the surprising people who seemed so cool on the outset but are such turnoffs in our 1-to-1s. goes to show you can never assume too much about life ANYWHERE, even in metropolitan cyclic life singapore

4. on my way home there were some malay people hanging around my seats, some chinese national girls sitting in front of me, a rowdy bunch of german expats being completely obnoxious in german (they were going, “anyone understand german here?” and i didn’t respond, so they went on yakking off some really annoying shit in german. suck it i understand you, i just cant be arsed to reply) and some chinese singaporeans walking and standing near me… and that’s kinda like how singapore has always been. i could hear like 4 different languages and speaking styles all at once and completely understood what was going on. you know how some people say that the normality of a child is the perception he is acquainted with in his growth; that his surroundings allow him to create an identity that he can relate to in order to “become” his own person? well, i just realized today that i am really blessed to live in a world where the race of an individual matters SO LITTLE in the merit of him or her, that i can walk into any area and never have to deal with the issue of segregation, that the “majority” is of so little value when you look at things in a micro-perspective… am i being overly idealistic? sure! but do i give a fuck? no! i’m just happy that i am not tainted with racism, that even though my parents and family are racist i just AM NOT

5. natasha bedingfield is cool




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