i have been sitting here just feeling majorly upset about the world and everything in general for the past 12 hours. which is just disgraceful considering that the time that i have to myself is so immensely precariously little. why do i spend all this time being upset when i should be having fun, being relaxed? when this is the only time in which i have no obligation to answer to any of my work duties? why is it that in the moments approaching the finality of this weekend all i think about is what i need to finish or what i haven’t done this week?

i wish i could find the answers as to why i am so stressed about just about anything. even now my eloquence fails me. the clumsiness of every thought i have. that friction between what i wish my life was and the reality of what it is. as if i just lost control of everything that i felt life owed me to be master of. my every free minute in essence a privilege and not a right.

you could not feel any more tied down than me, i think. or maybe you could. after all i don’t have to be responsible for any one else’s life. i just need to live each day by itself. just keep on moving on until.. i can’t any more.

there’s this song in moulin rogue. it speaks to me. why live life from dream to dream, and dread the day, that dreaming ends?

tell me something good

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