hey light

i apologise. deeply keenly sincerely i am on my knees and i apologise. my blithe judgment has no place in the world of a person who has made it abundantly clear that what i spoke of is the cruel circumstance of your being. i was in no position to say the things i said, whatever my intentions were (and benign they are, i swear it so) and the reflection of your mother in my image is the last thing we both want. so i apologise. i am sorry.

those three words, the last in particular, flung around as oft as it has been in the past week, is a trial of both of us in patience. i elicit these negative feelings that are infinitely new to you. did you expect your almost perfect girl to be so fatally bad at being good to you?

i have a period i have a migraine i had a bad day; i want some peace i need some time i want you; so many things, sometimes i can barely keep up with myself.

close our eyes. breathe in deep. clear the head. lie down. try to smile, even if the lack of colour is disarmingly bleak. in retrospect, all of our quarrels are meaningless.

you see, i hope, after you wake, you still remember that you love me. i’m still your girl. every single way.

mean while i will simply sit and watch as the fog of this consumes all of me

tell me something good


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