24
January
(2010)



exhausted


song of the nao… paperbag:

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think im supposed to feel happy and high like i almost always do from family gatherings but im just gathering dust with my emo self here…lol.

i laughed a fair bit but its loud and rambunctious and hollow

i dont know why i am so exhausted. when the clock hit 10pm i just wished i could lie down and sleep

actually i spent like 3 hours gathering umblia… lol holy shit… waste of my life and time….

tomorrow’s sunday and its that rundown stupidity known as work again…

just one more week.. then another week… then another week…

kids came by and yyx asked my cousin how old she was, and when she said she is “12++” i felt a bit shocked. i’ve known this kid since she was wee big, i had to rock her cradle till she fell asleep, i remember looking after her and when she wouldn’t do anything unless i was around, how she would fall asleep to music and cry when it stopped cos the cd player ran out of battery…

bejeesus.

brain farts ahoy…dunno why but ive been feeling really dumb of late. i need that competitive edge, that sense of urgency that doesn’t derive from incompetion of tasks, i need adrenaline that comes from having true passion and engagement…

think as a marketer im suppose to inspire the above.. how to do so when i barely can muster the energy to register my fate daily. lol.

ahhhhh
ahhhhhhhhh

ahhhhhhhhhhhh…..

why does it have to be sunday tomorrow? i wish i could just stop working for a long time… …..

please god.. let me quit…

feel so miserable when i think about real life.

ok ok.. routine goodstuff/badstuff evaluation

GOOD
1. sharing b&j’s macademia mission with the couzzies
2. watching my mom show off her facebook skillz to her siblings
3. deep&meaningful conversations with papa
4. kristal looking gorgeous despite that wreck of a car accident 5 years ago
5. my fucking awesome macbook (i hate but im listening to music right now and its pretty brill. cant say that for most windoze laptops)
6. its the weekend
7. i had fun on aion with yyx
8. good servicings today
9. i made 2 gigantic yummy sandwiches
10. everybody loves my room and dual monitor set up

TERRIBLE
1. im fat and do nothing but work and play computer games
2. i hate my job and i cant stop whinging
3. i feel like i cant communicate properly anymore
4. my english is fob
5. i feel inadequate
6. dont feel like yyx and i are working towards our future together anymore
7. my iphone is retarded
8. im too lazy

tink good outweighs bad so im still good for a bit




tell me something good



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