room & life changes

i’ve struggled for a really long time to make this post; not quite sure why since this is pretty much a huge defining moment in 2010 for me – CLEANING UP MY WARDROBE!!!

i know it sounds stupid, and i understand how this can be seen as ditzy, but after living for so long i realized something totally fundamental about my life: the state of my mind is the state of my room. the clutter, disorganization, infinite storage problems, frequent displacement of things – an inability to locate my stuff, leading me to buy moar shit, and finding myself running out of space to keep them in – that’s how it has always been.

and when my room becomes the battlefield of my wordly possessions, i start to lose my ground and question myself. what’s wrong with me? how is it that this tiny room of mine can spiral into such insane chaos – how can i expect myself to take charge and keep order in my life, if i cannot even reign over and keep order in this small space of mine?!

after all, my room is my sacred place. it is where i finally found privacy, having spent 12 years with all the other 5 members of my atomic family in a room at the old house, getting my own bed and my own room was the best part of my childhood. this is where i learnt a many great things, mugged over countless advanced level classes, wrote a gazillion words worth of essays, cried over broken hearts, laughed with friends, got drunk, got angry, got happy – it is where i grew up, and grew into who i am today.

which is why, it has always been so therapeutic to clean it. but try as i might, cleaning it is an infinitely easier task than keeping it clean. it is truly my personal struggle. & since half of my room IS made up of my fucking clothes, the problem ultimately was my ever expanding, perpetually disappointing wardrobe.

about 3 weeks ago, i made the decision to take control of the situation and cure this problem ONCE AND FOR ALL. it took me about 3 days, as i sat amidst my jeans & cardigans & t-shirts & dresses & blouses & skirts – and it still goes on today, but it HAS BEGUN. i threw away over half of my shit, 3/4 of my clothes, and i stacked everything worth keeping into places where i always know to look into. what’s important about all this is is how MUCH JOY it has brought to my life. i am at peace. i am happy! i know where everything is, and i find keeping it this way incredibly easy.

having reduced my wardrobe to its current size, i am eager to keep it as organized as it and i am finding this completely effortless. gone are the days when i come home and throw my clothes into a laundry basket that might as well be a bottomless pit, since clothes that go in there become forgotten & never worn again. gone are the days where i panic & look everywhere for stuff i wanna wear, only to give up, getting frustrated as i ran out of time, and i ended up in the same shit that i always wear. gone are the times when i dreaded being asked out because of all the scavenging  i would need to do in order to be ready!!

now its as easy as opening up my wardrobe, looking at my shelves, and being totally aware of what i do and do not have.

its sooooooo fucking awesome. and i am so proud of myself for getting here in the first place. i make my bed every day now, i lay in bed and look around and am astounded – so this is where i live. and i love it. and i want it to ALWAYS be like this.

because, in the past, when you walk in here, and you see nothing but disorder &  disaster, that’s who you saw me as – this crazy mess who had no control over her life – and that’s not who i wanna be. THIS here today, my room here today, is who i am – no disarray, no eyesore, fright, or monstrosity of disorganization – just this eclectic mix of things that are contradictory, amusing and me.

and i always wanna be this way.

okay and now here is a stupid ass video about my wardrobe.i mostly made it because i haven’t made a video before on my mac and i wanted to try it. :p

2 responses to room & life changes

  1. im the queen of DIY Says:
    March 20th, 2012 at 9:24 am

    [...] other improvements after the Great Cleanup of 2010: [...]

  2. how to blog tutorial Says:
    September 12th, 2015 at 1:04 am

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    room & life changes

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