Archive for November, 2010



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flash fullscreen hack


fact: watching shit on two or more monitors on the internet is a pain in the butt because flash video, the dominating technology for streaming sites, does not keep videos fullscreened when mouse activity outside of that monitor is detected. that means i can’t have fun watching starcraft replays while playing it >:|

this is of course no bueno. which is why, i am happy to know this super solid piece of know-how:

you can hack your flash video player dll to keep the damn window fullscreened!

here’s how:

for my reference:

using Google Chrome (as Chrome now comes with the Flash plugin) open

replace 74 39 83 E8 07 74 11 83 E8 05 75 13 8B

74 39 to 90 90.

that’s all.

now if only the damn developers realized this + google chrome stops updating the dll every time it updates google chrome.


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i don’t like to tie my hair, so i have a gazillion hairbands with bows on em because i wish i was blair waldorf.


she’s kinda like the sunshine and thunderstorm in my life


and she is so madcute when she gets a haircut!


good food :)

annyeong goodbye adios


sis & i had a convo regarding life and career and i professed to having a problem with the job market right now; turns out my confidence in my employability was seriously misplaced and i am not nearly as employable as i was a year ago. having never really seen job hunting as a difficulty before, this new found dilemma has resulted in a staunch humility that i must cure. therefore, a book was purchased, and i will be diligently devouring its sage wisdom to a new job.

one thing: i must not settle for less. i must not cave in to admin jobs and stuff i am not interested in. this time i am following my own career path.

home organization



an uncluttered mind = an uncluttered room. i was told that a long time ago, along side with some small simple truths like… keep your books in sight because you won’t read what you can’t see and you won’t remember what you don’t use. so i like to keep shit in sight. its really nice to be able to tell where something goes though, instead of absent mindedly chucking stuff into some random recess and then repurchasing said stuff because of inability to locate previous location of stuff. i like this feeling, that when i walk into my room, no matter what state of mess it is in, i can repair it with minimal effort and extreme speed. its been like this since that july revamp and i am superduper happy.



i miss my laptop so much.

i need to get it fixed. think the psu died. not even sure if it is the lappy that is broken as it blacked out one day and kinda sent it to eternal fuckethedness.

i miss lying in bed and writing so so so so much

sis went to uk again. i encouraged her to stay for a long time as opposed to a short time, knowing that while absence makes the heart fonder, reality is best cooked like a stew – a prolonged stay with someone you love will only bring out his flaws and irritate you more than endear you – then, truly, absence will become a relief rather than a stinging reminder of your loneliness

lonely is an adjective i have come to use on myself often now. there is the eternal loneliness, the kind that makes you feel like you are alone, no matter who claims to love you, no one understands you – every hiccup, every inane argument, is a diminutive reminder of how innately L O N E L Y i am

nobody understands me, sometimes i wonder if i understand myself.

who wants to feel alone. who wants to sit there and wonder why your partner says the things he says to you. about anything, everything, stupid shit like “are you even thinking”,  while i struggle to articulate my failures, not even close to verbalizing what difficulties i have and that frustration reaches boiling point – its a yell i have to restraint, a silent scream i have come to bear, knowing that the only solution to the problem is separation. the aftermath is baking in alcohol and music, then a sudden realization as the symbolic loneliness becomes actualized and you have no choice but to recognize, no matter how lonely you may be, it beats being alone.

i hate that part of myself. that wayward wondering that works in a depressingly downward spiral fashion – knowing what you have is not what you want and what you want is not what you can get, knowing what you have is what far better than what you have ever had. i know it all.

i am so self absorbed. its pathetic.

not too long ago i would sing leona lewis’ “run” and he would be rapt with attention.

i miss that.