18
December
(2010)


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absurd fears and occurences

i have like a shit ton to blog about.

i fixed my laptop about 2-3 weeks ago thanks to the wonderful people at sapura apple, who gave me a free charger since i was still under warranty. superb apple care! yayz!.

since then i have really quite enjoyed surfing while cozy in bed, watching replays close up and chatting with people before dozing off and stuff like that.

having a laptop is a great convenience.

things been quite shitty for me of late. life is like a big pile of horseshit and i dont know what to do with it. they say life gives you lemons, make lemonade, so i guess since life is giving me horseshit i should plant some damn plants?

there’s a lot of problems and i would feel like a broken record if i wrote them all down so i would rather not.

suffice to say, life hasnt turned out the way that i envisioned it, which is a very absurdly common occurence.

why is it so hard to control your own destiny? shouldnt the desire to have it be enough to force it into reality?

well, at least – i got 99 problems but a bitch aint 1.. i guess.

my birthday is tomorrow.

absurd fear that no one will wish me happy birthday.

then who will i QQ to? lol.

to be honest i wouldnt be surprised if no one cares enough.,

wouldnt be the first time

birthdays have always been sordidly depressing for me. being born in dec, just 3 days after my brother’s birthday, i ended up always having to share parties with him, if we even got any – and the guests were always informed that it was my brother’s birthday and not mine, so i ended up getting nothing

yeah! i was a pretty neglected child.

when i became a teenager, birthdays weren’t celebrated by classmates either, since i was born in december, meaning its school holidays when it happens, so nobody from school really cared. for a couple of years in between though, i did have friends who made a big deal out of it, and i felt pretty cool,

nowadays its just something that happens once a year. the only people who tend to make a bigger deal out of it are boyfriends, but of cos i’ll be having none of that this year!

who cares!

its just the day i was born.,

which is probably more of an occassion of regret than celebration.

i hate my life.




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