marina bay sai park

during the last week of dec, we visited marina bay sands, the newest integrated resort to hit singapore’s pathetically small ground surface.

dreadfully, unjustifiably extravagant and expensive, marina bay sands is designed specifically for those who have too much money and too little time to spend it. to make it easier for you to dispose of all your disposable income, they sell goods with exorbitant price tags so you can spend all your money on JUST one thing!

how ingenious!

but the spending doesn’t just stop at luxury goods – they charge you the same ridiculous prices for EVERYTHING ELSE, too!

i made the heinous suggestion of visiting this place to my family in december 2010 – it’s not that i did not know better, it just seemed wrong to let my cousin, who was visiting from Australia, to go home without witnessing the stupidity of singapore. so, on a cloudy day, we set off to the sands.

we began by visiting the “shopping” portion of the sands – heaps of nothingness. this mall is HUGE, like INSANELY BIG, but there are only 2 star attractions – a “sampan” on the artificial lakes within the mall and this joke of a skating rink:

made out of some “special” rubberized surface, you can skate on this with ice skates. we were debating on whether it was “really ice” when i pointed out that if it was, why the hell is everyone so skimpily clad on the rink? they should be bloody freezing!

cynic in me won with the superior logic, obvs

the other attraction,  the sampan, not pictured here, was  NOT worth wasting my shutter count on. a sampan is really just an asian boat, nothing fancy, but exploited as part of the sands concept, since it has some cultural relevance to singapore.  the ride itself is done on a HORRIBLY PLAIN indoor water route, which is basically a longass irregularly shaped swimming pool – just concrete walls and blue water, nothing interesting at all, save for the sights provided by these lavish shop fronts. and of course, the sampan ride is obscenely overpriced at $10 per pax. $10 bucks!! to ride on a stupid paddle boat around a mall and conveniently serve as a freakshow for everyone else NOT on the sampan. KNN!!

walking around, we got super bored and since cousin broke her shoe, had to go to crocs to get a new pair of shoes, which, btw, cost us $30 -_- for a pair of slippers.. ok.

then we  made the stupid mistake of visiting some shitty coldstone creamery knockoff known as “cold rock ice creamery

this place is just  a fucking joke. waited in line for near to 10 mins, no service, no hello – they didn’t want our business obviously. there were TWO people taking and making ONE order and even though i wanted my cousin to try out the kind of custom icecream flavours shops like these offered, their complete lack of customer service and just basic courtesy has turned me off forever. i will NEVER PATRONIZE this shop. in fact, i’m going to find out who manages this franchise and make sure to never get anything from anything they manage.

-_-

*deepbreath*

there isn’t much to do at marina bay sands, but i suppose if you do visit, you must go to the “sky park”. heralded as THE place to see the view in Singapore, access to this viewing platformis located on a 57-storey mega hotel:

because of the size of the mall, we got lost multiple times and looped around 40000 times before finally realizing where we had to go was across the road. then, the tumultuous task of getting to there SAFELY…took us about 35 mins before we finally got to the damn fucking park.

sky park access is chargeable at $20 per pax, which i really REALLY did not feel like paying for. but we forked out the cash and hoped for the best.

hopped onto the lift, which takes us all the way up to level 56 (FUN!):

i felt no pressure difference because i am cool like that. everyone else complained about their ears

so, what do you get for $20?

…a chance to share a platform with lots, and lots of idiots who also paid $20 to stand on top of a building!

…a historic glance at some alien looking wheel perched atop a spike

…access to the MOST EXPENSIVE TIDBITS AND SOFT DRINKS KNOWN TO MANKIND ($5 for a bag of chips/twisties, $4 for ONE can of sprite/coke/urine)

from the creatively named “skybar”, which, BTW, also sells you tshirts announcing your ill fate in visiting this place for $50, just in case you needed peripherals to the insult this attraction has branded upon your memory

…the experience of envy as people frolic in the infinity swimming pool, only accessible by hotel guests of the $500/night rooms

and, i guess, this pensiveness-inducing view:

which, you know, for all my complaining, was still quite something to behold. ^O~

what can you do on this place? really, just…

CAMWHORE!!!!!

so will i pay $20 to visit this again?

they say pictures speak louder than words, so i’ll leave you with this:

p.s. that means, OF COURSE NOT LAH!

desserts is stressed spelled backwards

been a long ass time since i met up with some of my favourite people in the world, so am super glad we finally set aside a time to meet up yesterday! but as usual i fuck up in terms of timing…

i stayed up all night pulling some rubbish post on MBS + finish work on the premium brochure i am designing for Segway, then decided to feed wang wang, my red poodle, which resulted in a 3 hour chase around the house ‘cos i always feel bad when i need to put her back into the pen so i stayed up for the entire morning too!

this lack of sleep caused a deep hibernation that almost caused me to miss the meet up – luckily YN called and woke me up; when she asked where i was, i hastily lied and said “on my way” it was embarrassing and i apologized for it later

the meet up was great as always! we went to Ajisen Gourmet Town @ Nex . we ordered gyozas to share and i got the beef don because i hadn’t eaten the entire fucking day

Dessert Bowl

we spent sometime to gossip about other halves before YN’s BF drove us to Serangoon Gardens for dessert/drinks

Located on the 2nd story of the building in Serangoon Gardens, Dessert Bowl is a quaint little stop for budget local desserts with weird yellowy retro decor…

i was conservative and got the yummilicious lychee ice:

just good, how can anything with lychee NOT be good?!

met the other half of YN:

i miss my friends already hope to see them soon

would you like me if i did this to you?

let’s say, if, you were the cutest dog in the world. you know, fluffy, red, poodle and small…

and one day, after NOT grooming you for close to 3 months, i bring you to the worst dog groomer in the world.

told him to give you a full groom.

say… BALD.

LETS JUST SAY I DID THIS TO YOU

OMG

would you still love me???????????????????

to help you consider, here is a great reminder of the kind of cute you used to be:

if i was a guy this dog would be a chick magnet. as it is, i get talked to all the time when i walked her before the haircut

and how you look like now?

… …………

and for your information, this is the difference between a good haircut and a bad haircut for puppies as cute as miss wang.

left: GOOD | right: HOLY SHIT

try as us humans might, we will never destroy the cute in miss wang.

<3

I’M SORRY PUPPY, ITS OUR FAULT YOU LOOK THIS WAY t_________t

tokidoki hello kitty wallpaper (january)

1920×1200 | No calendar	1920 x 1200 Jan 2011 calendar	1920 x 1200 | no calendar	1920 x 1200 Jan 2011  calendar
			Download all here ^o^
1920×1200 | Vignette!	2nd/3rd monitor	2nd/3rd monitor

i noticed a lot of hits on my blog from searches for tokidoki wallpaper – and particularly of late, searches for “tokidoki january” – so i thought, hey, why not make one!

tokidoki for hello kitty is super cute – but wallpaper of this is scarce. thus i’m happy to present this green tokidoki hello kitty that i vectorized with love  i enjoyed making it and i think i will continue to make more every month – so if you would like to see something specific, do leave a comment and i might try it out!

available in 1920×1200 – and ‘cos i am a dual monitor girl, a tiled pattern for your other screens if you need other resolutions/colours, just drop a comment!

how to download:

Click on the wallpaper(s) of your choice, then simply right click to save the image in full resolution – or use the nifty “Download all here” link to get the entire wallpaper pack.

liquid jinro!!!!!! fighting!!!!!!

I LOVE LIQUID JINRO. NO OTHER WORDS ARE NEEDED. for a glimpse of his glory, hit: http://www.gomtv.net/2011gslsponsors1/vod/59850 (subscription required, and you should sub… because i said so :P)

i’ve been playing terran since release and i will be honest: i suck. it took me over 300 1v1s to finally hit platinum and still, i fall to strong 4gates. i feel like there is NO HOPE once you don’t kill a protoss before 10 minute mark or if you can’t contain. i’m not marineking, i can’t micro against HTs, i am just an ordinary gamer with crappy handspeed and the inability to emp properly, so toss is always an impossibility for me to beat late game, where macro is just not good enough – micro is the decider. i honestly have been WAITING for EVER for a terran to show me, YES, TERRAN HAS A LATEGAME AGAINST TOSS. TERRAN CAN WIN AGAINST TOSS WITH MECH. and my wish came true today when i watched liquid.jinro roll the BEST toss in the world, not ONCE, but TWICE with a mech terran build.

of course i’m not saying “oh you need to see someone else do it to do it yourself?” – its just that hope, that i some day, can beat toss with more than the one dimensional 3 rax 4 rax play i’ve been practicing what seems to be forever, that i don’t need to rely on the “OP marauder” to win games against toss, and for terran to really evolve in tvp – i feel like history was made today when jinro did what he did; thats his instinct and thats why i am so so happy to call myself a jinro fan!!

i havent felt this happy in a while ^________________^ today’s GSL (this season tbh too) was wonderful to watch. and i think tasetosis have never been as infectious with their energy as they were today. /HEARTS INTERNET!!!

<3333333333333333

its one of those days

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one of those days that seem to occur more and more

i need to speak to you, but you aren’t there

i need to reach you, but you are not around

all this desperation, all this repetition, is just a plea

to hear that you love me in your voice

to see that you miss me in your face

tell me, how is it, i am expected to keep my sanity

there is nothing here that i have, that i had, that i can keep

who i am today is lonely, who you expect me to be, is alone

and that is all i am all day, all week, all month

in this time, i have thought it again and again

they say, if you are not happy, then don’t stay

there is nothing left to keep, except the hope, that this is a circumstance beyond your control

and i want to believe, but even i am not naive enough to think this is true

but again, and again, and again, i am the bottom of the list,

i am the last priority

wake up at 6am, you are not there,

wake up at 7am, you are not there,

wake up at 12pm, you log off 1 hour ago

i want to hear, baby i am sorry,

baby i miss you

baby i want you

baby i wish i had you

baby i love you so much

but i hear,

sup i gtg

sup i have class

sup i am so tired

sup i passed out for 20 hours

i said, a long time ago,

the kind of love i have for you

is the kind that doesn’t need you to be around  to exist,

but i was wrong,

without you around i am lonely,

without you around i am afraid,

without you around i cry because i don’t know where you are

literally.

and too, literally, i am not on your mind

and yet whenever i speak of these fears, all i hear, is an irritation in your voice,

to get over it, to forget it

i want to scream out loud, if you only knew, the kind of scream i have been holding inside

tell me, am i not good enough>

have i been so bad?

all these months before, and all these months ahead

i can only see myself, doing the same thing i have been doing for so long

waiting

just waiting

just waiting for you

waiting for the day

except i do not know now, what i am waiting for

am i waiting for your weekends? for you to come home?

because you never tell me when you are around, only tell me you are when you have to go

am i waiting for the day your semester ends, and you go home?

because then, you will simply go party and forget about me, as you did before

am i waiting for the day you graduate, and you get a career?

because then, i will simply be irrelevant to your life

what am i waiting for?

can somebody tell me?

tell me, how do i quell my fears,

how do i silence my despair

inside me, it is just an abyss of pain and worry and paranoia

inside me, is just an earnest wish, that i never made silly wishes, never had silly hopes, never ever met you

because today, i am suffering

every day, i have been suffering

for you, i have suffered for months now,

for every time you go to school, and again and again, you choose to indulge in games, in others,

i am just an accessory to your life, never the focus

because to ask to be the focus, requires you to give up all that you want, all that you like,

its me, its me, i am selfish,

i am old,

i have no more youth to squander,

but to be with you, for you to expect me to deal with this constant absence,

you are asking me to leave my life in your hands

because my prime is over,

i gave what little i had of it, to you

and please, dear god

i wish for the eternal sunshine of a spotless mind,

please, dear god, make me forget how much i want that romance

because today i know, i cannot help the person i love,

i am no asset to your life,

i have no merit to add to your existence,

i don’t belong.

thats why you are never around.

thats why you never answer your phone when i call.

thats why i am always the last thing on your mind, although, now, it seems like i am not even on it any more.

thats why i cry.

you can say all these logical reasons,

but the truth is, if you even understood, if you knew, if you just used your heart over your head for once with me today,

you will see how much i am falling apart for you

wake up

dont waste my youth any more

if you cant love me, write me love letters, if you have no more energy to just show me

that you still have me in your heart

then let me go

tell me to leave

close the door on me

never answer me again

my poor haggard life and heart

cant take any more loss

cant take any more longing

cant take any more sadness

i have told you before,

that i wish to end my life

it is not to make you stay,

i just wish you to know

how empty,

this void

of living

feels like

but please tell me

when will you stop being away,

when will you stop being nowhere to be found

we both know

my threats to leave you dont work

we both know how much my heart belongs to you

you have the upper hand

but please have the kindness in you

to be merciful

and take good care of my pathetic heart.

there’s not much life left to it already.

and i don’t know, i don’t think i know how to keep it alive any more

because its 3pm and i still cant reach you

because you will wake up for your study group but you cant get up a little bit earlier to listen

because every other person on earth can call you and you will answer,

but when weissie calls you just hear “please leave a message”

tonight is just one of those days where i really don’t know how to stop crying

because IT HURTS

NEOMU APPA

I AM JUST A GIRL

BEGGING YOU TO PLEASE

PLEASE

PROTECT ME FROM THIS

PROTECT ME…HELP ME.. SAVE ME

I DON’T WANT TO EXIST IN THIS LIMBO OF PRETENDING I UNDERSTAND

AND THE EMOTION OF FEELING NEGLECTED BEYOND REPAIR

BECAUSE

IT

HURTS

SO

MUCH

it hurts so much to know i am just a negligible part of your life, if i am even part of it anymore.

think positive!!

FIRST OF ALL! yay for me!!!!!!! i fixed that retarded previous post thumbnail bug, so there will be no moar broken images.

this post is going to be random shit because i want to push down that emo post i made, that was some seriously depressing wall of text; while i dont regret writing it at all, its not something i want to see everytime i go to my own blog (yes!!!!! i do that ok!!!!). it felt so much like a last cry for our relationship. like if it didn’t work anything out with yyx, that would be the end  - but thankfully, it did, he is trying harder and giving me simple things and simple joys. last 2 days have been a lot better for me and i haven’t been crying :p i hope it continues because i really hate being emo.

team liquid

every sc freak knows about team liquid, so imagine the kind of OMFGWTFBBQ i was in when i checked my site stats and found i had a few hundred hits from teamliquid - turns out a nice fellow sc2 lover had plugged my jinro blogpost on the forums – so thanks, xHydrax! it brought a huge smile to my face ^O^ go visit his youtube channel!!! he does great commentary, i’ve learnt a few things from him

people still seem genuinely surprised about this, but there is actually a pretty healthy sc2 female gamers population; i get asked whether i am a girl on sc2 quite often, since my ign is “tetrisgirl”. i personally know ~5 and know about more. for instance, kellymilkies (who stupid akira thinks is me), who is also from singapore! this female caster is a diamond, zerg-loving e-sports supporter who has her own livestream on teamliquid.

i’m hoping that someday i will be diamond too~~~ ^^ going to be practicing my 1v1 so i can fulfill my wish! in the mean time, BNET PLZ DUN DEMOTE ME FROM PLATNIUMMMMMMMM

house painting!!

in my never ending quest to colour the world the way i like it, we painted house on saturday with papa; our originally blue living room now is peach and salmon pink. yes yes, tis me who convinced my father to do such an unfathomable thing!

a lot of yelling and stuff happened.

the pink makes people look so much prettier and stuff. i used to have to colour correct like mad whenever i took photos of people in the living room, but now, i am quite certain that this will no longer be a problem!

puppy got locked in and was unhappy no running around for 2 days! OH NOEZ!

but, in other great news, her furcoat is growing out beautifully!

me on the other hand, oh my god. i fucked up my hair out of boredom and cut myself a mushroom head. now my hair is all wavy and i look like a retard. lol

and lastly… err… brochure for segway gogreen came out.. yay! i like. it looks nice.

yep. SUCCESSFUL POST HIDING MISSION! +1

happy chinky new year!

sup, fatface mcgee here reporting that this lunar new year sucks! but luckily i am not deaf and have retreated to the world of wonderful MUSIC!

music is like my super escape now. every night i listen to some emo shit songs so i can feel better about my emo shit self and seek refuge from the words of talented lyricist and comfort from beautiful melodies!

i’ve been in the drunken stupor of kpop for over 2 years now, and while i still love listening to 2beatpop its just nice to listen to music i actually understand.

if you are having a shitty lunar new year like i am, here are some choice english intensely poppy and happy songs to tide you over this festive asian season. remember! you are only as strong as your weakest emotions! so let not the nosey relatives and incessant gossips ruin your day!!!

Valerie – Amy Winehouse

anybody who hates this song will die from dismemberment

SNSD (Girl’s Generation) – Visual Dreams

okay chicks singing about (intel’s) processing cores, i don’t know about you but my core is pretty hard from this.

Della Ding – Back Up

femalez empowerment! lulzzzz

Jewel – Stay Here Forever

only god can sing better than this woman; this is not proof of the fact but YOU SHOULD NOTE THIS REGARDLESS. by the imposing stature of my caps lock i command thee!

Jewel – drive to you

god damn song not available in youtube fffff

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Glee – Marry You

*tear* who cares baby, i think i wanna marry you (also yeah i just like this better than bruno mars’)

*edit* added this in, i forgot because i have a single digit IQ

Ken Ashcorp – Tasteless

goddamn genius of a song. i mean really, “cos you bunker rush my heart”…”mid game sees me tech to love” how do you i don’t even

and if you actually listened to all this music, GRATS! YOU JUST WASTED 30 MINUTES OF YOUR LIFE!!!

also new wallpaper for feb 2011 will be available hmmm this friday latest. <3 for the support ^o^

bunny hello kitty wallpaper (february)

1920×1200 | No calendar	1920 x 1200 Feb 2011 calendar	1920×1200 | Vignette!	2nd/3rd monitor
1920 x 1200 | no calendar	1920 x 1200 Feb 2011  calendar	1920×1200 | Vignette Dark	2nd/3rd monitor
Download all here ^o^

late again for this month…

i wanted to do something pink for chinese new year and valentine’s day, so i chose to go with hello kitty in a bunny suit! this time around i spent a bit more time (ok A LOT more time) on the typography and background, so enjoy! ~

again, dark and light versions + dual monitor backgrounds. ‘cos i gotta take care of my multimon girls, right?

happy lunar new year and valentine’s day! if you don’t have a significant other, or he sucks, fear not – bunny kitty will always wuv you …deep deep.

how to download:

Click on the wallpaper(s) of your choice, then simply right click to save the image in full resolution – or use the nifty “Download all here” link to get the entire wallpaper pack.

lets go full throttle

every lunar new year, we journey to the west to meet up with mom’s side of the family, who are pretty much the most awesome people in the world.

so the best part of new year this year was this –  going there, riding in the TOASTER BOX CAR!!!!

doesn’t it just remind you of a toaster? i was told this is called “The Bread Car” in China. we borrowed the vehicle from our cousin’s boyfriend because the family van is kaput (damn coolant isn’t flowing like it should be). <3 it and camwhored in it etc. while we braved shit traffic.

jurong east!

this is the first time grandma’s apartment block hasn’t looked shabby in YEARS – actually it looks pretty awesome. she now has lifts that go to every floor of the building and mango and pine trees lining the block. the neighbourhood is also omega fab – about 10 minutes walk from a mall with ice skating, bowling, karaoke and a cineplex, plus convenience stalls etc.

we just do one thing every year. open face grill with hotpot! that’s shabushabu for the nihon crazy

its ace: we had different strips of pork (even streaky bacon), prawns, scallops, abalone, crab meat, etc. i grilled like 8 pieces of bacon because 3 of them flew off the paper plate – wind was sooo strong there i really like this kind of meeting because nobody has to really slave over the stove in order to feed the “guests”. we all just serve ourselves, throw whatever we want on the grill, and enjoy~

and of course, the best part is always this: CUTE KIDS!!

so lucky to be them – blessed with the best of our genes! huge eyes, button noses and of course, since they are my cousin’s kids, will never be fat (unlike my dad’s side of the family :P) seeing them really makes me wanna have kids, and truth be told, i feel embarrassed about not being married or even being close to being the bearer of human fruit (lewls) since my cousin is only 3 years older than me everyone else will be ahead of me at this rate!!

hey boyfriend why aren’t you impregnating me yet??

i kid i kid!!

the kids are not all alright

but you know, if i have ever ever have kids before my eggs start growing wrinkles themselves and shrivel to death, i hope my first child is a girl.

really.

i don’t think i can handle having a boy as my first child after what i experienced this chinese new year. ugh. the next cultural war should involve packing up these kids and cloning them to be shipped off to enemy countries and adopted by natives so they will be terrorized by this kind of horrible, horrible children

don’t get me wrong, i LOVE children – i used to teach and tell stories to kids at an enrichment center and i still miss that job, but some kids are just demonic.

yesterday, dad’s friends came over and brought their kids. somehow every year i end up baby sitting them, which was great in the past, but since i revamped my room into total girl geek heaven i don’t have my usual tools to entertain children.

so they overrun my room.

they jacked my computer without asking -_-

they jacked my phone without asking -_-

they get on the bed, jump on it, make a mess out of my bed without asking

and the worse crime of all.

how fucking did they dare!!!

they TERRORIZED MY DOG!!!

is it that hard to treat an animal kindly? they threw my dog from person to person, and because they didn’t know how to hug her, she was squeezed so tightly she cringed and whined, then moved in and out of the room repeatedly; for a puppy who doesn’t like to be held, this was a pure nightmare. and there was literally NOTHING i could do about it. it went on and on and on and on and on and i was really upset.

you don’t have to beat a dog up to mistreat her. when you handle her with such little care and consideration, like she was a mere soft toy, it is also abuse.

you see, all of these were boys. other not-photographed misdeeds include:

• jacking my macbook, banging it into the wall,
• turning my room inside out and going through everything i own
• taking my money and running around with the $1000 note dad had given me for something important (i stopped being polite after this happened),
• logging into my facebook and adding themselves (WHY?????????????) to my account

i have great control over kids, and while i managed to keep them under control and let them have fun, it was really at the expense of my day.

please teach your kids manners

i can’t help but wonder, what happened with these children? there’s always debates on nurture v.s. nature when it comes to kids, but based on what i have seen it really is (the lack of) nurture at fault. nobody really spent time to teach these kids basic manners. one kid kept on swearing in my room, and after i told him specifically to not, and i had to keep reinforcing the rule by disallowing privileges when he broke it. but still he kept on doing it to provoke me, knowing i could not physically discipline him. in the end, i had to step up, sit him down and explain it to him what the words meant and what people thought of him when he said those things. then he finally understood that swearing was inappropriate and stopped.

i was told by my mom that this specific kid has all sorts of bad habits like these, picking fights at school, disrespecting people and getting into trouble all the time; she didn’t even want me to try to stop him from swearing, and i guess i am glad i did.

but while i can help him not swear for one day, it won’t last. the next time he does, its quite clear that no one is going to explain to him the meaning of his actions, and he will just continue on.

children really are like dough in the early stages of their lives. how you treat them, talk to them, whether or not you can get onto their level and help them understand you by thinking like them, will shape who they become in the future. i know i used to be a socially awkward kid and suffer low self esteem because of what i was subjected to in my childhood. and i also know, when you tell a child something in ways she understands, they will learn faster than you can believe.

so really, tldr – teach your kids manners and the right behaviour in as many situations as possible, no matter how long it takes, or when they grow up to be shitty brats with an intense sense of self-entitlement, it will be your own fault.

escape to ikea

after the kid ran around with my $1,000 note, i decided i couldn’t take it anymore. so sister and i left the house, with my cousin’s boyfriend driving us (in toaster box car again!!!!! +1) to Ikea where we had awesome swedish meatballs and salmon

i wonder if jinro can make meat balls, since he’s swedish.. heehee. ^^”

i love ikea so so so so so much. we could only shop for 30 minutes and i think we will be going back soon just so we can enjoy ourselves better.

now i have to go take care of the mess that is my room. after i left last night it seems like more wild kids got in and totally wrecked my place. sigh. fuck you children. fuccckkkk you.

and no! nobody say anything about me swearing. :p

quick one, mom’s birthday

mom’s birthday this mon was horrible. everyone hates life and thus don’t really appreciate anything. mom had a rough time this festive season, having to cook and clean non stop for pretty much 48 hours, and dad was just brusque as always. sis came home on monday but it doesn’t really feel different. you know how when you are at one place, and you don’t wanna be – that dead look you get in your eyes?

yeah, she’s got that look.

anyway. just posting some candids for my own pleasure… not much to say

since mom is visiting our uncle in melbourne soon, i realized that she probably would need a new camera. i hit kenrockwell.com and did some research and settled on an ixus sd130. its a really fool proof camera – set it to auto, point and shoot at anything and everything will look great.

i dropped some hints on what her present was gonna be a few days before her birthday. mom used to love taking photos of us when we were kids but gradually stopped. i think i got my shutterbug disease from her, i take photos of everything and everyone.

mom realizing what it was! shiny..

went home and sang her a birthday song and cut the cake

and wang wang being epic. she REALLY wants that cake lol

YEP YEP HERP DERP

also, i am totally rocking the IU marshmellow song just so i can feel happier. okay i just got to the “go go baby girl clap clap clap let it go” part and now i am happy

angelflorist may have ruined my week

but i am still grateful and thankful to be your girl

thank you yyx

our second valentine’s day together, holy shit! hahaha

times may be rough now, but maybe we will make it together for the third valentine

who knows.

p.s. still want that card, i know maybe you will remember…

my true feelings

i apologize for being lame but starting from today some of my posts will be partially protected; i really appreciate that there are people reading my blog now, but i am also aware that some of my more personal feelings can be misconstrued and i honestly started this blog to achieve emotional well being from writing. but i have begun feeling hesitant to write here because i am afraid of portraying a negative image. so i will partially protect some of the more private stuff to maintain the balance =)

facing the music

haha! my blog is baby blue! woooo!

was taking down the blog for like 50 minutes today to fix a looping issue but ended up taking literally 4 hours; i know nobody notices these things but i dodododo. the blog was mismatching post data and post content and it was pissing me off. couldn’t go from page to page properly. then after i fixed that, i found out that my archives and tag pages were screwed up (when did THAT happen?!?!) so i fixed that too. i basically spent my ENTIRE afternoon doing this.

in between running around the house with puppy being all nice and going all tarzany on my code, i weighed myself and twitched when i found out how fat i am now

i really took my body for granted. went to the bathroom sometime before lunch and saw myself in the mirror; i know i am having the most epic infinite period ever but holy shit i look like crap. my face was bloated, my arms have never looked bigger, i think i am getting massive cellulite, and i can’t climb the stairs without huffing and puffing like a wolf trying to blow some pigs’ houses down

i am really pissed with myself. on one hand, i want to take better care of myself, on the other, i am constantly battling the blues and my laziness is at an all-time high. i didn’t really have the motivation to exercise before, but after today i really have no excuse.

so i guess its cardio skipping time every day now!

ah well.

EDIT: omg that was scary. got owned by 500 internal server error and almost lost the site. not going to use w3 total cache plugin ever again, you guys can have fun loading the site slowly!!!

bon voyage mama T_T

my mom is heading off to australia to visit my uncle with my grandma and aunt, so we decided to have dinner at a nice place before she boarded the plane!

i kinda hate changi airport. i know how most people think its like the best airport ever, but i don’t really see the big deal. it looks horrible. they are trying to change it with some huge renovation project though. long overdue IMO

took the lift up to level 3 for some om nom nom…

where are we going~??~

corporate lifts lol~

i love this photo

its dian xiao er!

i think its super appropriate because the first time we ever visited this restaurant was also right here on mother’s day a few years ago. i bought my mom dinner and some really nice crystal earrings. she remembers! and that’s some mean feat, considering how forgetful she can be

we always wished papa would come eat with us, so he can enjoy the food!

the menus look like kungfu secret manuals mom & dad look cute together in their kinda matchy stripey shirts.

the food comes super quick and is delishhhhh-cious

their speciality is Roast Duck with Herbs - we got ours with Angelica and OOOOOOMG. i dubbed it “the reason to live”.

dad LOVED the food and decided we will return again. success!

then off to terminal 1 to see mom off

we met our darling extended family,

sitting there smiling and excited. its always so nice to see them!

mom’s luggage vs. grandma/aunt’s – mom was dubbed a compact traveller. heehee.

departure TT

bro telling mom: “you have to come home in 10 days OK? if you come home in 11 days, i might still be ok. i do have 11 pairs of underwear. but if you come home after 11 days, i am doomed!” lewls.

and then we left changi airport.

miss mama already =(  after she left, we had to wait for ages for dad to settle his business. we waited at the airport for his friend to pass him some legal documents and he never showed up, so dad decided we would drive there instead. when we reached our destination, i didn’t want to leave the van so my sisters and i chilled in the van while dad and bro went off to go drink their way to a signed contract. took agessss. i was bored shitless after singing the praises of my bf for 2 hours. :\

but dad bought me durian so i am not unhappy. YAY!

okay this blog entry sucks but whatever. tomorrow’s entry is going to be smexy.

i’m creaming my pants!

so..

hahaha!

also, HEY MAN! my webhost upgraded the server so the site should be faster now A+

i’m a bad girl! my razer carcharias

guess what?! i am sporting some new gear.

this smexy, beautiful thing came today:

i naturally jizzed in my pants and had to change them

broke my headset like 5 days ago and was feeling pretty emo about to spend moolah on a new one. thank god SOMEONE came to my rescue and sponsored me a new pair – and NOT just any! he got me the razer carcharias!!

his one & only condition is i camwhore with them. but i have SHIT LIGHTING today due to the rainy afternoon, so this will have to wait pity because i had like super prostitute make up with the blue ass eyeshadow:

i would be afraid to go out like that but ehhh. it seemed appropriate. better luck next time i reckon ^O^

these are so baller. don’t you just <3 razer packaging?

look at that velvety cushiony earmuffs! i feel like royalty with these cupping ma ears

so far, my first impressions are good it is comfortable but a tad big for me i feel like i have been converted into some razer whore just because my desk is littered with their stuff. but hey, anything for a great company with great products

sooo, thank you person~~

nerd hello kitty wallpaper (march)

1920×1200 |  calendar	1920 x 1200 Mar 2011 no calendar	1920 x 1200 Mar 2011 with stars!	2nd/3rd monitor
1920 x 1200 | calendar	1920 x 1200 Mar 2011 no calendar	1920 x 1200 Mar 2011 with stars!	2nd/3rd monitor
Download all here ^o^

omegosh i am on time for march!

march has always seem like kinda bitch month to me – if you are in school, you are probably buckling under the pressure of studying for the term/semester tests, and if you are working, you are probably longing for the holidays, a little bit too short as always. so here we go, NERD HELLO KITTY is here to cheer you up!

how to download:

Click on the wallpaper(s) of your choice, then simply right click to save the image in full resolution – or use the nifty “Download all here” link to get the entire wallpaper pack.

i’m pro abortion but sometimes, the non-apologists of this school make me angry.

i felt very strongly in writing this because i have known some people who, if they had not have abortions, would have had miserable lives. but every single one of them have felt a guilt, that is natural and important, that makes them human. yet some people say that they shouldn’t feel it.

i am a pro abortionist. but unlike some of my fellow pro-abortionists, i am not unapologetic about abortions.

my cousin was 17 when she got pregnant with her first child.

without asking her, her parents arranged for a marriage with the child’s father. she gave birth to the child, and then another, before finally divorcing her abusive husband. she left the home and has not seen her first 2 kids since.

her kids grew up with no mother, a drunkard for a father, and a broken idea of what family, home, marriage, love, life means. i know this because i know what kind of family my cousin married into, and those weren’t good people. she could not be around to protect them, shelter them, teach or love them. she could not be around at all.

throughout the whole ordeal, she was never given the option of abortion. she was never asked.

i believe in abortion because the sin in ending the promise of life, pregnancy, is far exceeded by the consequence of an inability to care and nurture that promise into fruition – long after my own life ends.

because i  strongly believe that women are afforded enough contraceptive options to avoid being pregnant in the first place

because  a woman who is pregnant and does not wish to be, must only be pregnant because of circumstances beyond her control. rape. abuse. sex trade/slavery. society. things that only the world can change.

but here we are, educated women, with the education and information that so permeates our world,  playing russian roulette with their birth control pills, trying their luck when a condom isn’t around or preferred, “being too drunk to say no”, aborting and saying they are not sorry?

pregnant because they were too lazy? too horny? too stupid?

wearing their abortion like a flag, like something to be proud of, saying they are not sorry - when it is their irresponsibility that brings them to prematurely end a life, before it really begins?

oral contraceptives have a 5% failure rate. lunelle injections, are monthly, and have a 0.1%-1% failure rate. pull out sometimes, cum in the ass, in the mouth, face, whatever, but stay on the pill this whole time and you have got to be really fucking unlucky to be pregnant when you don’t want to be.

be fucking responsible.

but using abortion as anything else other than a last resort is disgusting.

telling people that you are not sorry for your abortion when you don’t even practice what is needed to STAY unpregnant, while there are those of us who have been raped, who live in areas of the world where women don’t even have this bloody right to choose, is disgusting.

be human. UNDERSTAND THAT AN ABORTION IS A SAD THING.  a last resort. a painful choice no one should ever need to make.

and stop portraying it as your natural right to “choose”. your ancestors did not fight and die so you can trivialize your abortions.

you should be sorry. i am, even though i know it was the right thing for you to do.

fuck my fucking life

okay i dont know who did what to make my life so shitty but PLEASE, DEAR LORD, STOP MAKING 2011 SO SHITTY

list of shitty things that has happened to me this yr:

1. shitty new year’s eve
2. shitty chinese new year
3. shitty valentine’s day
4. shitty joblessness
5. shitty relationship drama
6. broke as shit (flat broke)
7. got so fat its lulzworthy
8. bf not around no moar
9. depression and panic attacks where i feel like committing suicide
10. chipped my tooth (TODAY FUCK MY LIFE)
11. broke my pc (TODAY, FUCK MY FUCKING LIFE)
12. broke my little toe falling down (TODAY. FUCK. MY. FUCKING. LIFE)
13. lost 3 friends – 3 people who know me separately just STOPPED being my friends. ALL AT THE SAME TIME.)
14. suck at gaming so much that i want to kill myself, no matter how hard i try i still fucking fail ALL DAY
15. SHITTY ACNE

jan feb i pretty much spent most nights bawling my eyes out, feb almost every night i was crying about some stupid shit, and omg i dont even UNDERSTAND how i became such a fucking loser

I JUST SUCK AT EVERYTHING

LIKE

EVERY

FUCKING

SINGLE

THING.

FUCK

MY 2011

THIS YEAR

IS LIKE THE WORST FUCKING YEAR EVER

not a single good thing happened to me pretty much.

FUCK

WHEN IS MY SHIT LUCK GOING TO BE FUCKING OVER

FUCK MY FUCKING LIFE

new hair (AGAIN~) and my silly silly day

i parted my fringe from right to left ASTOUNDING CHANGE AMIRITE?!?!?

soo tiredddd

special thanks to Matthew & Mirez

i just wanna say thanks to the kind wishes from Matthew & Mirez, who commented on my last despondent post; having people reach out to me through this blog is a genuine surprise and cheers me up to an absurd degree. i have very poor self-esteem and am kinda socially awkward. a lot of people don’t understand this about me and think i am kidding when i talk about my fears and unhappiness, so i don’t have many friends that i hang out with or talk to. which is usually OK, but because nothing in my life is going right – be it work, money, family, or my relationship with my boyfriend – i’ve really plunged into a deep, ultra lonely depression for what seems like the entire 2011 so far.

at the moment, i no longer have any one to lean on. and when strangers on the internet care enough to leave me a sentence or two, it means the world to me. really. =)

so thank you, you two, for brightening my day. you are good people.

fishing

to be honest though, that horrible mood of worthlessness lingered throughout the last week. the reason is simple. i felt like i was losing my boyfriend and i really needed to secure the relationship through something, so i decided to work on my appearance. 3 or so weeks ago i started working out, swimming on a semi-regular basis and walking my dog quite aggressively, and i shed a fair bit of weight. but because of that, i have been religiously deprieving myself of junk food comforts that i relied on to make unhappy feelings go away (it was really a choice between alcohol or a sugar high, and the latter is much cheaper). but 2 days ago i had a huge fight with my parents and hit a bit of a rock bottom, so i devoured a box of timtams (DOUBLE CHOCOLATE YO) and half a pint of Ben & Jerry’s Newyorkfatpersonfudge ice cream and finally, i am a lot less emo!

talk about being caught between a rock and a hard place. heh. its either be a chubster and happy, or be prettier and totally super emo. FML

one of my not-so-close friends noticed how much insanely emo shit i have been posting on my facebook and started some kind of social service to cheer me up; we used to always be hi-bye friends, and even online, we didn’t chat much since i seldom reply to msn messages… but the last week he has been pretty much sending me quotes on being happy via MSN on a daily basis. today, he caught me on MSN at 5am and asked me to go…:

fishing.

at seletar reservoir.

ooooookay. i wasn’t quite sure how to say ‘no’ to that, and when he mentioned “cold beer” and “free ride” i just had to say yes.

it was creepy. like, imagine being at a big, open lake, fucking coldass air, and bushes that move by themselves. the lights were flickering, and i was relieved as hell when daybreak came around. i literally sat there for like 4 hours, and had nothing to do but listen to britney spear’s femme fatale over and over again. i didn’t really have much to say to anyone there, since i didn’t know anybody and they all seemed to be friends, so i just sat there and smiled whenever anyone said anything to me.

couldn’t really take any photos too, since it was fucking dark and all i had was my iphone. but just imagine staring at a much darker version of this for 4 hours:

uhhh. yeah.

the gang of people were fishing at the pier, which i think is a spot right next to the dam, and yeah of course nobody caught any fish. i think the fishing was just an excuse to sit at a secluded spot and drink beer.

to be fair, seletar reservoir is kinda nice after the lights come up. the place starts looking considerably less eerie, and surprisingly clean, which is a mean feat for a park

swimming

so because i ate shit tons of choco i had to go work it off. after the fruitless fishing trip that turned out totally useless, i decided to go swimming at my suburb’s swimming pool – sengkang swimming complex.

look, its so fucking cool:

OMEGA RAINBOW SLIDES!!!!!

it’s only $1.50 per entry.

place has kid slides, timed water buckets, kid and adult jacuzzis, etc.

and the ultimate irony – this swimming complex also has a 24-hour mcdonalds with a DRIVE THROUGH:

i guess that’s the facilities management’s sense of humour at work here.

i also got my ssc card <3

cheaper entries! yipee!!!

on the ride home, saw this graffiti:

and i smiled. the world was nice again.

nyx round lipgloss swatches;

okay i undeleted my blog.

and bought LIPGLOSSES!

turns out i got 5 lipglosses and not 6, i suck at math haha. i really just wanted a clear lip gloss and i hate the way this one smells right now so probably will get another one :X

and since i always find it useful when people swatch their makeup, thought i would swatch mine too. i got:

1. nyx baby pink
2. nyx sorbet
3. nyx apricot
4. nyx african queen

i got baby pink and sorbet even though they are really close because i was curious about the difference. turns out baby pink is actually sorta nudey frosty finish and sorbet is more pink and has sparkles in it. i kinda like the way the lips look when you wipe off sorbet, so i am pretty happy with it

apricot looked orange and a bit like a coral but went on pink, resembles my natural blush, and i really~ want apricot as a cheek tint.

african queen is purple straight up in the tube and when sheer on the lips, just a nice bold magenta. its like a more saturated version of my baby pink raspberry lipgloss that i miss SO FUCKING MUCH. i wish i knew where to find it in singapore.

i’m pretty happy with everything except for the smell of the lipglosses (weird detergenty and cough syrupy smells) and i dont really fancy “baby pink” but its a pretty good deal for $5 SGD each

and then i camwhored.

yeah i went swimming with this make up on, with goggles doing 25 laps, it actually stayed on. amazing.

starcraft2

i’ve started watching GSL again now that my favourite casters are holding the helm fully – i’ve stopped playing GSL and sc2 for a while now and have been playing league of legends, but i am getting a bit restless and want to go back to sc2, or at least watching the pro matches. so yay! happiness! forgot how to play sc2 though, i only remember the 2 rax fe 4 rax timing and fast hellion builds but manmanman i don’t know what the meta is at all, so i am nervous playing 1v1 again. but hurhurhur gonna reinstall sc2 right now.

hokay more blog tomorrow i bet, i have a new mission to take photos every day

Protected: light up light up

RANDOMMMM.

can you imagine being a dog? i see my dog sitting in her pen whenever i walk into the kitchen and i guiltily remember that she spends majority of her day cooped up, next to a tray of her own piss and shit – the same area in which she is supposed to eat and sleep. i know space and size is relative, and since she is so small that corner isn’t all too shabby, but holy shit its a JAIL CELL!

can you imagine living like this:

5am: shitty owner is waking up and making food in the kitchen. why do they disturb me and give me crappy sleep schedules.

9am: i am hungry and no one is awake to feed me. fucking assholes.

11am: finally some bitches awake to feed me. why are they screaming “pee” and “poo”? god i wanna punch them in the face, i want to eat, not shit and urinate. especially not right before i eat. i hate the smell of this place, it smells like crap that comes right outta my ass!

12pm: o yes they let me out! im going to run around. this is boring. this house is pretty small man, there is so little to doooo. i am hiding under the sofa. im hiding in rooms… i am running back and forth.. heyyyy haven’t i seen this before?! oooo tissue paper, let me ninja some and bite em. OM NOM NOM I LOVE WHITE STUFF

2pm: uggh they are screaming at me again. i better hide under this sofa shit. they are sooo going to catch me. they look mad… fine, i’ll stay in the pen. go ahead! WALK AWAY NOW! who cares if i am going to be alone in the damn pen for HOURS until YOU feel like playing with me? mother fuckers

5pm: HELLO???????? CAN I COME OUT NOW????????? COME ON!!!!!!!! REALLY????????

8pm: HI?????????? OMG YES FINALLY YOU ARE LETTING ME OUT….for FIVE FUCKING MINUTES? R U SRS???????

10pm: jesus christ guys come on this is stupid, i am bored and this is horrifying BORING! i know you guys are too stupid to understand me but oh my goodness can’t you recognize a cry when you hear it?!??

11PM: FINALLY SOME FREEDOM. im pissed with you all for keeping me in there for so long. here’s a gift for yall./ im gonna PISS ON YOUR FLOOR and TAKE A SHIT in front of my LEAST FAVOURITE PERSON’S DOOR!  BOOYAH SHITTERS…hahaha!!

i seriously think that it sucks to be a dog.

it also really sucks to be me

here’s why:

i dunno think im just gonna go cry it out again lol.

and my vagina smells like 20 thousand dead people. thanks fucking period. i HATE THE WAY THIS BLOOD SMELLS LIKE MAN. WHY CANT I JUST BE A FUCKING MAN

Protected: epiphany

just sayin’

and THAT’S all i am doing. no lie.

what? you would want to fuck her too, if you were a girl!

when will league of legends be back online

im so bored.

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

dying to play some lux. feeling like i am getting close to being great at her! and she is pretty much my dream character/role to play in any game. so i really really really want to put in 12 hours a day, get that 90% Q rate down and start playing ranked as Lux

FUCK YOU RIOT!!!!!!!

to do list: 2 logo concepts, 1 ad, 2 adaptations, 1 website proposal, 1 website

dudes havent paid me in 2 months, just told me they can only pay me in june

wuuuuuuuut.

what a bunch of shit heads.

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!!!!!!!!!

remember you used to cherish me. love me without question. want me without condition. thought i was the best girl in the world. bought me flowers just to see me smile. told me i was pretty because you felt like it, and you always felt like it. i was apple of the eye, center of your universe, and you didn’t care that nothing else existed. you were just happy to have me. you wanted me when you realized you weren’t dead, you swore never to leave me because i wouldn’t let you dump me when your career seemed almost certainly over. you said, “i will never let you go”. this year i made more sacrifices. we kept our secret hush hush and no one knew about us. you are my invisible boyfriend. always have been. but lately i am unbearably incognito in your life. i am not just invisible in your life, i am invisible to your heart.

thanks for nothing. thanks for telling me to “just stop it” when i just needed you to be that guy i met so long ago. for a little while.

you finally reached the point where my tears don’t make your heart ache, just your head hurt.

thanks for being the asshole i never thought you would ever be.

not to me.

guess who got a new phone!

actually, guess whose boyfriend got her a new phone!

MEME!!! mwahhaha!

the glorious other half of mine known as YYX, oft berated and seldom praised on this public wall of text, has very generously equipped moi, with an iphone 4.

and good lord is it glorious. ESPECIALLY since i am upgrading from the iPhone 3G. i can hardly believe it took me this long to take the leap.

budgetory issues caused me to hold out for an upgrade to my ancient joke of an iPhone, which was failing me in terms of battery life & usability and – however dramatic this may sound – sometimes i dreaded going out because i would have to deal with “real world” in its entirety, no way to escape its discomforts through music and games as i had 2.5 years ago when i first got the iphone 3G.

it made me realllly hate leaving home.

i complain about it so much; its frustrating to know you have a phone that can do “ANYTHING” and yet not exploit it because of its age.

so, a couple of days ago, yyx took on the role of chief financier and got me one

i am not one of those girls who are comfortable with their bf paying for shit. i think money should never be part of the relationship equation until cohabitation or marriage because i  believe in being responsible for your own expenses.

so when he suggested buying me the phone i was somewhat hesitant.

its a huge leap for me, accepting a gift this big – i would have never said yes in the past, so yeah, this phone is hella significant.

and you know, this phone is badass. with my epic tendency to attack everything aesthetically, i want to skin everything on this damn thing!

did you know my iphone3g used to lag so badly when opening up “folders” and stacks on the springboard that it would sometimes turn itself off?

NOT ANYMORE!!!!!!

and i FINALLY can customize my springboard wallpaper!!!!

… or even USE google streetview. it would never work in the past and i cried myself to sleep everynight coz of it!

…it would probably be superfluous to say that i love my new phone…

…with its solid design with glass and aluminium…

… & its seemingly limitless applications…

but the real reason
why this iphone is so important to me
is because whenever i hold it,
i know i am carrying a part of his love for me.

=]

thanks YYX!

& now i am off to play world of goo on the phone!!!! ahaha!!!

preposterous sheer geekery

yes yes… i have hello kitty plastered all over the back of my phone + my lockscreen + NOW MY NAILS FUCKING MATCH!

i.have.nails.that.match.my.phone. hahaha!!!

ahahaha god damn i am pathetic.

but i got the blue thing going. $2.90 each, not bad huh?!

<33333

enough on the vanity crap, i’m still on my iphone high! especially the games. i can’t stress enough how much fun i am having.

let today be the first of many days where i stop myself from making more mistakes

just… things.

i cut my hair before i went for a job interview. the lady who promised to take off 1-2cm off my ends ended up taking a whooping 7cm. i wish i bitch slapped her. on the positive side of things, everyone thinks i am 18 or something now. its flattering.

today is mother’s day. i bought a chantilly cake for my mom. we didn’t do anything fancy. there was no dinner, we just… sat in the intensely humid heat and ate a melting cake. i miss my brother and sister. they are not here.

i got some stuff from america. yay.

my iphone is like me. ever changing! strawberries make awesome motifs and i love vintage prints.

i got an iphone dock. i actually got a different one than this, which i promptly returned today. the guys at the store were really nice and helpful. the guy who helped me get an exchange was queuing with me at the cashier and randomly decided mid-queue to get me a prettier unit with the same price. how nice.

i like this photo. i liked that moment. it was nice.

i am working now as a graphic designer for a small design agency. i really like it there. i hope i can do well.

[review] Philips DC220/37 iPhone iPod dock

hey hey. sorry, been away for so fucking long cos i am busy. but a mr. “Son” requested for a review of my (now not so) new iPhone dock and as i am but a servant of the internetz and whatever minimal attention i get on it, here i am.

FULFILLING DAT PROMISE. or, more plainly put, swinging my nerd swag at yo face BOOOOOOOYAH

most important factor – iPod VS iPhone docks

i trust that if you are reading this you probably don’t know much about these docks. but i made the mistake of buying a dock for ipod only, thinking it would work for my iphone, since they both share the same port design – and i was dead wrong. with the cellular interference coming from your phone, the speakers for ipod only docks will end up rattling you with beeps and cackles in the middle of the night – so AVOID at all costs!

ONLY buy iphone compatible docks. there will be a difference in price of $10 – $50 but its worth a peace of mind.

build review

its well built. but pix blah blah thousand words, so enjoy these views of this god damn dock.

front

top

butt

closeup of butt

snoooooze button, aka “today i am not going to do anything” delimiter

specifications

this dock, manufactured in 2010 has marketing gibberish which you can read here.

my fucking opinion

after about a month’s usage on this thing, i am quite convinced that its a subpar level product – even though i am a huge philips fan girl (weird but true).

although the dock does fulfill my desire for a convenient, non-computer power charger for the iPhone and has great sound (with a bass stimulant that does a fairly decent job), it is fuck poor when it comes to radio transmission. with a digital tuner, i don’t need to find a tuner outlet in order to enjoy the radio function. however, the signal is weak when the tuner is not extended, yet difficult to accomodate due to the design.

the best way to describe the tuner: a sperm-shaped tip with a long ass tail.

can you imagine trying to hide this damn thing? let me put it clearly for you: its impossible!!!
i can’t!

its also a pain in the ass trying to manually tune stations as the unit skips stations it feels the signal is too weak to listen to. so basically it skips all of the most popular stations in singapore. mother fucker.

so…buy?

no. although i do enjoy having it in my life,  you can get units of a similar standard for around half of the price. but if you are dead set on getting one, consider giving me the money and taking mine instead.

price & buying options

i paid $100 for this unit due to niceness of best denki salesman, but if you don’t have boobs and don’t like salesmen, you can get it for the silly full retail price of SGD $129.

sometimes time goes by too fast

hihi. so busy all the time now cos of the new job. I really like my job but having some trouble with finances because I am not really earning enough. mom and dad are quite unhappy with what I’m earning, and cos I end quite late regularly, they are really displeased.

I am not quite sure what to do… I know I need to make more but dunno how to tackle the problem.

I am starting to try and expand my skillset as a designer in a very aggressive way tho. I am not too sure how the situation will go but starting to brush up on my flash and getting some books to read on actionscript. I’m hoping that an hour a day will get me closer to being a more viable web designer.

anyway I have started a bunch of new habits which make it difficult to be bored. it’s a nice change. but it makes me tired and I quite miss having time to myself. it seems like nowadays I am running my life amok doing stuff for everyone when I’m not at work.

sigh.

I really need to write down what’s up wif my life. it’s an exciting time for me. but zzz……… I’m too tired and having wayyyyy too much fun doing stuff like watching dreamhack:D

what a… log of food

=)

forgive me for what i did. something i had never done before. at least you could have respected me for never touching it. to you i am always dramatic. i always make trouble for you. and i never leave you in peace. so let it be.

i love you. because i love you, this is why we have to let go. for your future and success. may you be the man you wish to be.

Protected: #1: I am probably bipolar. And the beginning of a long, long line of TL;DR.

Protected: #2 hater you can kill yourself

#3 things

instead of speaking in rhymes like i always do i decided i should be upfront about things

since leaving my last work place i have felt a sickening injustice about my life

believing in my personal moral code and principles have seem to get me nowhere.

i came in touch with my peers in the time since and i found myself in even more jaded eyes.

there is envy in the words i had exchanged.

i came back a slightly different person.

i had envisioned a life for me when i was 25;

sadly that life has been nothing near than an illusion, a mirage.

i am not sure what i did wrong, although i am now convinced that i never did anything right.

its times like this that make me look in the mirror and wonder when this all ends,

and whatever the after life is, i would not know, but it surely could not be worse

and lonelier i feel, sadder i become. tears roll and i get emotional; its all too familiar a feeling.

i think this is what they call depression. i feel an insurmountable force in every step of my life, every little detail;

i have given up eating, given up trying

i don’t go out of the house and i don’t leave my room unless i need to pee or shit

often the thought of showering tires me, let alone washing my face, brushing my teeth,

i am afraid to wake up and i always want to sleep

and i feel a disappointment when i open my eyes, knowing that i can’t continue pretending everything is OK

i thought that when people go through a near-death experience they sober up

for some reason i really wish i was killed by the asshole speeding at a zebra crossing

i wasn’t even afraid when it happened, when it came dashing at me

how interesting was it to have a moment of no fear;

instead i walked away with an inconsequential head wound and no excuse for who i am

knowing that whatever happened to me was nothing

no one would be concerned

nobody would say a thing.

and i was right.

why didn’t you just kill me that day god?

i just feel like there is nothing left in this world that i can make better or wants me for who i am

because lets face it

i dont want who i am

blaming people is always fun but i got to look at the facts

i chose to live my life this way; when people who raised me said “no” i said “no” right back to them

i always did what i wanted, what i liked,

so its very strange to see now that i don’t want anything, i don’t like anything

there’s no passion, compassion, interest

just a lethargic need to fill the space between sleeping and waking

the days go on and on and on

every day passes on to another

sometimes i don’t see day time at all, although that is not very strange for me, since at the last job i was working so late that i really never saw daytime except for 5 minutes or so

i really question my decisions. i know part of me is sticking to the guns for speaking my mind and

standing up for people i love and respect

but bearing the price of it has become much too painful

every thing i have done

really

no excuses

has just been mistakes

so i guess its my cross to bear

my problem to be alone

my tears to roll on the face

i am so sick of CRYING

i am so SICK OF THIS

i am so TIRED OF BEING ANGRY AND SAD

I JUST WANT TO BE HAPPY

but happiness is always FLEETING

it comes in pockets, bursts,

it makes me smile for an hour,

but there are 24 hours in a day

so that’s another 23 to deal with.

i can’t get anything done.

although people who have met me in my better days have been kind to me

and jobs have come in

and money is here and i don’t need to worry about it

i can’t get myself to do the jobs

i only disappoint people who trusted me

who thought i was reliable

im so sorry to every one who has ever given me a chance

i turned out to be a sore disappointment

i always thought that god gave me a brain to think with

but i think i was wrong

i should have just done..

what everyone has told me to do

because everything i have done is wrong.

and that’s why i am this way today.

ain’t nobody’s fault but my own.

so can i die now?

there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a person

something that nothing, no one can help

something i can’t grasp and something i can’t change because i can’t recognise

i just know

nothing about me

is right.

and im ready to raise the white flag

hang up the tower

bring on the noose

somebody help me

anybody

really.

whether to die or live

i do not really care

just want this to be over

just never want to feel this way again

its like ground hog’s day

except way worse

because i am alone.

#4 i hate lies

you going to some extraordinary lengths to avoid me this time

if you don’t love me, don’t say you do… or that you always will.

if you don’t want me, don’t say you don’t know

you don’t have to justify why

just say it.

because you were my best friend for a long time

friends don’t lie to each other

even though now you aren’t anymore

you still owe it to me

to not lie to me.

dong ma?

Protected:

three little words

between the silences i hear your words, repeated. the “this won’t work”, “i need more”, my tears roll as always. understanding your meaning, i brush them away. again you repeat the same arguments, spoken out loud to me, but the person you are trying to convince that this is right – even if it feels so wrong – that person isn’t me. it’s you.

between the silences, all i heard, was “i love you”.

i love you too. we’ll be okay on our own.

it was a pleasure to have been yours.

oh baby baby dancing in the moonlight

finally did the right thing and cleaned my room of all the nonsense that reminded me of him, that includes 9 cards, a truck load of lingerie and the last dead bouquet that was given with no sincerity whatsoever… detoxing my life through cleaning!!

this is probabbabbababalyyy the first nightttt that i have been soberrrr in a while. not bad. working out pretty well for me.

noteworthy thoughts of the week:

- clubs need to stop trying to make “pumped up kicks” into a dance song. not gonna work
- Delilah has a hot voice
- Shyvana is fucking OP. atmogs Shyvana with frozen mallet = ???  riot?
- i realise that dating is not fun at all, people say stupid shit and i don’t really care about what they are trying to tell me.
- if you ever need to raise your self esteem, sign up for online dating. get insta attention from guys of ALL kinds. i mean really, there was a guy who was old enough to be my dad who wrote me a ton of sweet emails. how cute.
- i am still a fucking bitch. i never replied to anyone .. HAHAHA
- i suck at singing now
- successfully stopped stalking ex bf, didn’t feel the temptation to call/text/read old emails, was unfazed when i stumbled upon old pix of him in my skype video thingy.
- edrama is stupid especially when it involves kids
- videogamedunkey is my league of legends friend. YEAHHH!!!!! MEATWADSPRITE!!!!  ^O^
- oh god ignore my loss streak. going against tryhards in solo queue=p
- glitter on eyeballs = not fun
- i got locked out of the house for 3 hours today, what i figured out about life was astounding. 1) all my neighbours speak teochew 2) tiny ants don’t let no big ants pass just cos they are big, they actually trample all over the big ants and tell the bitches to die
- the new snsd song video makes me horny.
- the ultimate compliment to me nowadays is being carded, and I HAVE BEEN CARDED. TWICE. LAST WEEK. WHAAAAAAATTTT
- no matter what happens to me in life, i still have ma calves and my perennial baby face. thanks, genes! =]

#lol captain teemo on duty!

who’s the king of YORDLES?!

thanks ADSL! 

anyways, been hooked on playing teemo the last couple of days. i am a tragic AD, i tend to feed unless there is a taric babysitting me, which is really weird because all the ADs are suppose to do is last hit and auto attack, both of which don’t seem too hard. BUT REALLY! i chicken out on every AD i have ever played, never go into a 1v1 because of a foreboding sense of defeat

but 1v1s are my FAVOURITE with captain teemo! with him, killing anyone 1v1 seems like the most natural thing. and the best part of all this shit is instead of spending money on wards, i just get wriggles AND shrooms and hellooooo, map control!!! epic shroom jukes start from 6, crazy jungle invasion at blue with shrooms is muy fun, and the BEST part is laying down the little mushrooms wayyyyyy before a team fight and watching it unfold JUST as i predicted, thereby giving my team the advantage.

there seems to be a general lack of respect for teemo in the league community, most find him not viable as a carry be it AD or AP, and find his kit lackluster. the truth is, there is no other hero like teemo. there are many prime picks above him, but those picks are based on the assumption of a controlled game where carries do get fed and supports have complete ward coverage consistently and tanks protect the dps from death. THAT scenario is rarer than rare. in team comps where 1 tank 1 ad 1 ap 1 offtank 1 support AREN’T the template, teemo HAS to have a place in it. he harrasses well enough early game to help garner early kills, keeps shrooms in lanes during mid game pre-oracle for mapcontrol that opens windows for ganks and jungle control, then if endgame does come, he is so bloody strong that its bullshit. his speed is unparalleled and the mobility lets him build lane pressure safely while shrooms protect him or set him up for ganks. he is not as easy to shut down as people may imagine, because an oracle will affect his map control, but 1 oracle cannot roam the whole map, and if that 1 oracle is shutting you down that easily, then your game was already shit anyway

teemo is hella squishy though, and watching other people play him i realise that he has to be an assasin character that picks his targets and stick with them till the very end. if he can draw away a carry from the fight, or force the enemy team to focus him – then his job is done correctly. the only problem with this is his inability to survive a focus, but given all the advantages of his kit, i would NOT trade anything for an escape. teemo is a planned character. you plan how you go in and out a fight, and if you calculate it correctly, you’ll live

long story short: captain teemo reporting for duty son. prepare to be shroomed!!!

love in a hopeless place

i am a vampire. :D

i generally detest  wearing lip colour because i can never really find something that is close to my natural lip colour. the nude shades wash me out, the reds make me look like i am 80, and all of them eventually fade anyways. so i just normally put on the clear stuff and thats it.

but i have a super soft spot for dark colours on my lips! especially the ones that make me look all arggghhh and stuff. like if you took one step towards me i would bite the fuck off your head. i am well aware that dark berries and deep velvets aren’t the most fashionable colours. do i give a shit?

nope, ‘cos i’m a mother fucking vampire!

anyway, since i haven’t been posting i thought i should. there’s been a lot going on in my life; having been sick this week though i have been given social reprieve and basically resting in bed. but idleness does not bode too well for a brokenhearted psycho, so i have revived my dirty little habit of retail therapy and got a metal mania palette =]

i like it! its really shimmery and has a lot of good neutral colours. a lot of purples and pinks makes me a happy person. that, and also glitter, as witnessed by my hella glitterati nails

TRASHY!

i have been buying so much make up related stuff, i really should do a post with all this stuff. its kinda funny how i was never the kind of chick who would take care of her appearance, and now i am just mad in love with moisturizers and body creams and yada yada. i scrub my face religiously now and have been brushing my hair every day. i got into a slight panic last week because my sister said i was balding (!!!?). apparently i have something of a bald spot behind, slight and not very noticeable, which made me really upset. but then i realised the bald spot was caused by overly vigorous pulling  - my hair used to be so tangled that i pulled out too much of my hair whenever i did comb it (which was like a once a month thing during the last 2 months where i was super depressed). now though i condition my hair every time i shower and i comb through every morning and night.

its been a weird month so far, sometimes i feel super brave and other times i feel hopeless. music has been a great recourse for me, so has been the reading. nothing beats cuddling in bed with thousands of books in this little thing:

thank god for the ipad.

i finally caught up on some sci fi titles i have been DYING to read for the longest time, picking up the latest addition to the hitchhiker’s guide to the galaxy “trilogy” – which led me into the whole artemis fowl series. then there’s also ender’s game, which i have been meaning to read for a while now, plus some contemporary fiction titles from John Greene. i really love reading, i miss it so much, and the iPad is the lowest cost  reading device available to me at the moment – with the PACE i read at (i clear at least 2 400-500 pagers per day), the iBooks library is filled with so many ePub books that it might have already paid for the iPad in value.

not to mention the fact that there are newer publications available as apps or newsstands mags, like ars technical, popular science, all of which i ALWAYS wanted to read but have never been able to due to lack of availability in singapore:

what thrilled me the most was finding all these resources to enrich my failing brain. there’s a dose of prose for every emotion i could possibly have. so much so that i am seriously considering getting another iPad as the current one is mostly residing with my dad. we had bought him the iPad as a Father’s Day gift and he has been using it every evening since, albeit for the wrong purpose – he is addicted to the Casino app, and has currently racked up $765,000 in the roulette and jackpot games -_-

but because of my recent discovery of the reading material available on the iPad, i have been robbing the damn thing. i feel bad about it, but at the same time… sometimes the reading is the only thing that keeps me OK.

i would be reading on my stupid piece of shit macbook if it was kicking and alive though. but nope. shit out of luck there.

MACBOOK Y U NO LOVE ME?

sigh.

oh, and i decided to change my blog to grey so it correctly reflects the colour of my soul. YEAHHHHHHHHHHH NGAAAA

rainy sunday~

sunday is a good day to spend with family, so off we went to Xian Seafood.

fucking sand floor yeye. and the view was muy bien.

but alas, the food was pretty shit.

even this australian crab that was $52/kg tasted like trash!! and the manager was very, very rude. condescending snotfaced old person.

no wonder popeyes’ was so crowded. the queue for this shit went 2 times around da block.

but i choose icecream instead. =] BE ORIGINAL!

om nom durian.

okay.

oh and dis was the face i was rocking today.

maybe i will get lucky tomorrow and the fucking diablo3 server WONT be down.

Diablo III Beta: U JELLY?!

i finally did it.

i finally got on to the mother fucking BNet servers this afternoon and conquered the beta. all thanks to mr. mark yu, aka benefactor of sorts who brought me great pleasure via the sharing of his Diablo III beta!

this glorious loading screen actually took me 3 days to get past. i mean, every single time i tried, BNet locked me out with a “unavailable” message. i was most sadface.

but no one can deny the birth of Illyana, the Demon Hunter!! >:D

her oufit has some elements of my… uh… slut uniforms 

i love her!!  i initially thought it was going to be a weak class in comparison to the others, considering that the agility is a nonfactor when fighting against mobs of monsters – and while i was enjoying myself, my damage did feel kinda weaksauce for a hero…until i found this:

and afterwards, i 1 shotted every skeleton, bola-shotting every mob made for easy money.

only took me 1hour+ to beat it – and really, i am extremely surprised at how EASY these first few chapters are – but i played it for SEVERAL hours afterwards trying out various skill comps and blacksmithing, wondering if there was a way to salvage item parts like in most RPG’s, and of course, checking out all the stats on my loot!

needless to say, i was pretty disappointed by the length of the beta. the lootwhore in me just needed more dungeons to slash-hack through!!

i attempted the last mission/quest several times, but i only got gold loot the first time – so i think this is a standard quest reward.

tried out co-op mode, which was a pleasant surprise – no loot sharing – in fact, i think the loot is better because the minions are supposed to be harder. and that loot companion really made things much more fun, too.

Demon Hunters are for PVP!

watching other people play other classes in the co-op opened my eyes to what they could do. it felt a lot like the demon hunter was going to be more suited for PvP and would very gear dependent - more so than the others. for instance, at my beta-end game i could only get a max of ~22 attk per second compared to ~38 dps on mark’s mage. but the difference is the demand of my dps is very easily balanced out by the mechanics of the demon hunter – her rage-dependent skills are fairly lowcost and spammable because of how fast she replenishes her rage. so even though my base damage is low, it doesn’t really matter because i can sustain the DPS. not to mention the fact that i have shitty weapons and wasn’t even maxing out my armor for +attack. i reckon i can hit ~48 dmg/s easily if i had shifted my gear to be DPS centric.

i really enjoyed her agility and found the mechanics to be a lot less slash-hack than, say, the barbarian. it took some positioning to conquer the mobs sometimes and i am pretty happy to say that i didn’t die until after i beat the beta, when i was experimenting with double bows and checking the armor effects possible.

ONE THING’S FOR SURE – when the auction house opens during release, the most expensive weapons are going to be bows.

Diablo III = pro game design

i love how seamless the questing interface was and i very much enjoyed listening to the lore as i collected books and encountered new species. having been a student of game design, i can really appreciate the brilliance behind the kind of non-intrusive narrative utilized in D3. most RPG’s tend to make users acknowledge quest through repeated dialogs and force user attention through quest text and lore that can be a pain in the ass to weedle through. but in D3, the designers took into account that forcing a user to read text or isolate quest objectives creates disconnects that make gameplay a chore. i never felt like that playing d3.

i reckon i will be playing witch doctor next, but oh boy – i cannot wait for d3 to release!!!

thanks again, mark!  you are awesome for sharing.