i parted my fringe from right to left ASTOUNDING CHANGE AMIRITE?!?!?

soo tiredddd

special thanks to Matthew & Mirez

i just wanna say thanks to the kind wishes from Matthew & Mirez, who commented on my last despondent post; having people reach out to me through this blog is a genuine surprise and cheers me up to an absurd degree. i have very poor self-esteem and am kinda socially awkward. a lot of people don’t understand this about me and think i am kidding when i talk about my fears and unhappiness, so i don’t have many friends that i hang out with or talk to. which is usually OK, but because nothing in my life is going right – be it work, money, family, or my relationship with my boyfriend – i’ve really plunged into a deep, ultra lonely depression for what seems like the entire 2011 so far.

at the moment, i no longer have any one to lean on. and when strangers on the internet care enough to leave me a sentence or two, it means the world to me. really. =)

so thank you, you two, for brightening my day. you are good people.

fishing

to be honest though, that horrible mood of worthlessness lingered throughout the last week. the reason is simple. i felt like i was losing my boyfriend and i really needed to secure the relationship through something, so i decided to work on my appearance. 3 or so weeks ago i started working out, swimming on a semi-regular basis and walking my dog quite aggressively, and i shed a fair bit of weight. but because of that, i have been religiously deprieving myself of junk food comforts that i relied on to make unhappy feelings go away (it was really a choice between alcohol or a sugar high, and the latter is much cheaper). but 2 days ago i had a huge fight with my parents and hit a bit of a rock bottom, so i devoured a box of timtams (DOUBLE CHOCOLATE YO) and half a pint of Ben & Jerry’s Newyorkfatpersonfudge ice cream and finally, i am a lot less emo!

talk about being caught between a rock and a hard place. heh. its either be a chubster and happy, or be prettier and totally super emo. FML

one of my not-so-close friends noticed how much insanely emo shit i have been posting on my facebook and started some kind of social service to cheer me up; we used to always be hi-bye friends, and even online, we didn’t chat much since i seldom reply to msn messages… but the last week he has been pretty much sending me quotes on being happy via MSN on a daily basis. today, he caught me on MSN at 5am and asked me to go…:

fishing.

at seletar reservoir.

ooooookay. i wasn’t quite sure how to say ‘no’ to that, and when he mentioned “cold beer” and “free ride” i just had to say yes.

it was creepy. like, imagine being at a big, open lake, fucking coldass air, and bushes that move by themselves. the lights were flickering, and i was relieved as hell when daybreak came around. i literally sat there for like 4 hours, and had nothing to do but listen to britney spear’s femme fatale over and over again. i didn’t really have much to say to anyone there, since i didn’t know anybody and they all seemed to be friends, so i just sat there and smiled whenever anyone said anything to me.

couldn’t really take any photos too, since it was fucking dark and all i had was my iphone. but just imagine staring at a much darker version of this for 4 hours:

uhhh. yeah.

the gang of people were fishing at the pier, which i think is a spot right next to the dam, and yeah of course nobody caught any fish. i think the fishing was just an excuse to sit at a secluded spot and drink beer.

to be fair, seletar reservoir is kinda nice after the lights come up. the place starts looking considerably less eerie, and surprisingly clean, which is a mean feat for a park

swimming

so because i ate shit tons of choco i had to go work it off. after the fruitless fishing trip that turned out totally useless, i decided to go swimming at my suburb’s swimming pool – sengkang swimming complex.

look, its so fucking cool:

OMEGA RAINBOW SLIDES!!!!!

it’s only $1.50 per entry.

place has kid slides, timed water buckets, kid and adult jacuzzis, etc.

and the ultimate irony – this swimming complex also has a 24-hour mcdonalds with a DRIVE THROUGH:

i guess that’s the facilities management’s sense of humour at work here.

i also got my ssc card <3

cheaper entries! yipee!!!

on the ride home, saw this graffiti:

and i smiled. the world was nice again.

3 responses to new hair (AGAIN~) and my silly silly day

1. Mirez Says:
   March 18th, 2011 at 8:08 pm

   you are welcome. =)

   why be in pain, when you can be happy in life right? hee.

   I am very much relieved to see you back on your feet! and blogging again

   Mannnn, seeing McD is making me hungry.. =s

2. Matthew Says:
   March 26th, 2011 at 1:56 pm

   Holy moly, you mentioned me =)!!

   You’re very welcome!!!! You can see my email feel free to chat with me anytime =)!!

   I came back here AGAIN just today to see if there were any entries after your sad one — and I see that your last few your mood has picked up =) that’s so good to see!!

3. weissweiss Says:
   March 29th, 2011 at 1:01 pm

   thanks matthew!

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